As I continue to walk this valley of the shadow of my mother’s death with the Lord Himself, I am more deeply aware of the love He has for me.
This love, this substance that scholars and theologians have tried to define and describe for all of time, has manifested in so many tangible ways for me. The day after she moved up, I attended a small gathering for an evening of worship. There was no agenda, no expectations, just a night to sit in His presence together with others and worship the King of Kings. As I sat there, my sweet friend came to me, wrapped her arms around me and through tears, said, “the Lord showed me that I can pour out all I have into you and risk nothing…because He risked everything.” We sat in that embrace and our tears mingled together and the Father ministered to me greatly with those words.
As these weeks and months have continued to pass by, I have had many reach out to connect, saying that they were thinking of me, and wanted me to know. They were praying for me and told me so.
Another friend texted and said that I was on her heart, and she has been prompted to hold me in prayers. We connected and took a walk together. It was a lovely Fall day and I was able to share some of the stories of my mom, and my grief burden was shared, as we both lifted it into Jesus’ arms to carry for me. Sweet, tender moment of simply being in another’s presence was such a blessing.
I have a prayer warrior friend of mine that I know the Lord speaks to about me. She sends extensive, very specific, prayers via email and she has been spot on with some of the things I have journeyed through these past few years. I’ve not heard from her in a couple of years, as our lives have taken different paths. However, she reached out a few weeks ago with another long email prayer and it brought tears to my eyes, and joy to my heart. The Lord knows me and loves me…enough to tap this woman on the shoulder and let her know my needs for support and love in this grief journey. We have such a loving Father in heaven!!! She invited me over for dinner, and served my favorite things, loving on me like a momma does. It was delicious to my very soul.
Another couple of friends in my life decided to celebrate my birthday in true party fashion! Those that know me, know I LOVE a good gathering!! I am learning to be a better receiver as I age. I received a gorgeous cake covered in edible butterflies, and cards and gifts. I even sat and opened all the gifts and cards in front of everyone, as the center of attention! Yikes…! It is hard to be the one receiving, and I’ve spent some considerable time in that space trying to discern what the “hard” is about.
Is it an under-estimating of my value, as compared to others? Is it false humility? What lie have I believed that has set up camp as a barrier for me to receive the love of the Father as he pours it out through others? I have done some work in the prayer room on this one, and it does seem to stem from the lie of ‘worth’ and ‘value’ that is not a new lie. It lurks around and cloaks itself in different ways to try to prevent me from receiving. Notice I wrote “try”. The enemy doesn’t get to steal, doesn’t get to kill, and doesn’t get to destroy. He wants to, but he doesn’t have free reign to do so…we have authority to stop the lies. Jesus came to give us this power and authority. We get to exercise it all the time, but we forget to.
My friends, as you read this, please pause and let Him remind you of your truest identity in Him. You are a daughter or son of the Most High God, and have power and authority here on earth because of all Jesus did on that Cross at Calvary. Take that in…receive it. John 13 is full of all sorts of layers of teaching and equipping. As the last act He did before heading to the Cross, the summary was about “receiving”. The disciples were about to receive the biggest, best gift of all eternity…Himself, dying on the Cross. Please read it again with the lens of “receiving”.
How are you at receiving? Are you hearing in your head “it is better to give than to receive”? Yes…AND, how can we give something we ourselves haven’t received? We need to spend time with the Lord, and One Anothers receiving from Him. What does that look like for you? Where has the enemy set up some lies about receiving?